Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Tell us about it! We probably won't be able to help, but it might be good for a chuckle.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby divea » Sat Jul 11, 2015 20:35

jimipresley wrote:
sandman wrote:Why for men, specifically? Surely it works the other way too?


NO, Sandy! Women are precious, innocent snowflakes. Men are horrible, filthy predators. Don't be obtuse. :nono:

Mr. Presley, my advice is mostly for both parties but you haven't gone and cried in the other thread, why women are being called nags?
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Zardoz » Sat Jul 11, 2015 21:39

divea wrote:
jimipresley wrote:
sandman wrote:Why for men, specifically? Surely it works the other way too?


NO, Sandy! Women are precious, innocent snowflakes. Men are horrible, filthy predators. Don't be obtuse. :nono:

Mr. Presley, my advice is mostly for both parties but you haven't gone and cried in the other thread, why women are being called nags?


You asked the question my dear, and I'm afraid you are the answer! :razz:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Big Vern » Sun Jul 12, 2015 12:34

I have been thinking more about why men rarely do some household chores without being asked or seeing their wife doing them and then offering to ask. My theory is that men simply can't see dirt or mess as well as women do. A little like we can't hear a baby crying as well as women do. And, honestly, that isn't just an excuse :lol: . When I lived alone my wife, who was then my girlfriend, would tidy up every time she came over. Nothing was wrong with the place IMO - I just couldn't see the dirt.

In our household I don't get any credit for the things I always do - cooking, dish washing (I can't stand a sink full of dirty dishes), bathing daughter and putting her to bed. Oh, and paying all the bills :lol: . I am rubbish at cleaning the place and doing the laundry, though.

Men, in general, are pretty simple creatures. I'm pretty sure that most would respond to a cleaning rota, but of course from the POV of the wife that would be missing the point :lol: . It's going to remain a bone of contention, IMO, as unfortunately we don't possess ESP.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby maoman » Sun Jul 12, 2015 13:58

Big Vern wrote:I have been thinking more about why men rarely do some household chores without being asked or seeing their wife doing them and then offering to ask. My theory is that men simply can't see dirt or mess as well as women do.

Not this man. My wife didn't even know what Pledge or Pine-Sol was before she met me. MY house was always spick-and-span, wood furniture polished, floors clean, everything in its place. In the years that we've been living together, I've had to put up with her tendency to clutter. I regularly purge the house of junk when she's not around. She's a pack-rat, but I love her, and she keeps me around, so there's that.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby sandman » Sun Jul 12, 2015 14:07

maoman wrote:
Big Vern wrote:I have been thinking more about why men rarely do some household chores without being asked or seeing their wife doing them and then offering to ask. My theory is that men simply can't see dirt or mess as well as women do.

Not this man. My wife didn't even know what Pledge or Pine-Sol was before she met me. MY house was always spick-and-span, wood furniture polished, floors clean, everything in its place. In the years that we've been living together, I've had to put up with her tendency to clutter. I regularly purge the house of junk when she's not around. She's a pack-rat, but I love her, and she keeps me around, so there's that.

This. Just this. My old lady does our laundry and keeps the place clean. But that's only because she fills the entire place with junk and clothes and shoes. I have one closet. Its not nearly full. She has a room-sized walk-in, plus several wardrobes, plus the built-in closets. All packed to overflowing with things she's never even looked at since they were bought. But she's lovely.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Big Vern » Sun Jul 12, 2015 16:06

Another one of my theories bites the dust.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby jimipresley » Sun Jul 12, 2015 16:23

I grew up in apartheid South Africa, where even the poorest white household had a live-in servant who did the laundry, washed the dishes, and generally kept the house spick-and-span. As such, there were no indoor chores for us kids. We were charged with mowing the lawn, picking up dog poop, watering the garden, and all other tasks that the black slave was considered too weak to fulfil.

Hence, I was not brought up to consider the greater ramifications of homely filth, as evinced by my oven.

My wife, on the other hand, was brought up in an anally-retentive, 10peopleina10squaremeters apartment on the 57th floor of one of the most densely populated cities in the world.

One can easily see how we have differing opinions regarding cleanliness. :twocents:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby ChinaCat » Sun Jul 12, 2015 17:05

Big Vern wrote:Another one of my theories bites the dust.


Life is a series of mind-jarring discoveries, corrections, and epiphanies! :wink:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Jos » Wed Jul 15, 2015 15:33

Hi Jen,

Thanks for depending our species.

You nailed it "say what you mean, mean what you say".

Jos

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Icon » Wed Jul 15, 2015 15:52

I do wonder, though, how guys manage before they get married. Most guys I know here do pretty well on their own, do not stink -that much- have clean clothes and a decent home -mine is not sparkling, but rather as my father called it, looks lived in, not like a mausoleum, so that is basically my measuring point.

One of the bad points against men in my own culture is that they expect Superwoman -works outside and inside the house, which is kept spotless. Even with a maid, I find that difficult. But again, they do not say how disappointed they are at this, they just find another woman and justify themselves saying "my wife is not pretty enough, is too tired all the time, we do not have fun anymore, I have too much pressure".

So saying what you mean is related with what you believe in, what you want, what you expect. Please say you do not like onions in your food. Please tell me if my teeth cringe during the night. I have been living with myself all my life and feel quite comfortable in this suit as it is. I want you to be able to communicate with me. If either you or I feel that we are stepping on land mines every time we talk, this is not going to work.

Neither of us likes to do the dishes. But the dishes do not do themselves. Expecting me to do them all the time because I am a woman ain't gonna fly. Not because of the dishes, but because of the implications. It resonates with me in particular because in my culture, being a woman means a lot of different things from other parts of the West/developed nations. If you expect me to do the dishes all the time, and resent me when I don't, and worse, don't say it but keep it as a weapon to throw at my face, I am afraid that you would expect me to do other things as well as per traditional customs, to behave in a certain way I am not, to lower my gaze and follow instead of walking side by side. And that ain't gonna work here either. I do not want to be a burden, don't make me one.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Kal El » Sat Jul 18, 2015 15:20

Yeah, I don't do dishes, unless every last bloody thing is dirty and there's absolutely nothing to eat or drink out of. I do other things though. :idunno:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Jos » Mon Jul 20, 2015 11:22

I don't have issue about cleaning or washing the dishes as MEN including my teenage boy are really lazy on this part,
every time I asked him to wash his plate, glasses there lot of suds and always end up rinsing those again.

My boy loves to helps on my cooking so it was OK.

He mops the floor and vacuum and I know it was not clean and it was fine, men can't really see the dirt.

So no matter what we say to our men, our teenage boy they are really born MEN very simple mind.
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