I Miss My Wife Poll

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Tell us about it! We probably won't be able to help, but it might be good for a chuckle.

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How independent should married/lifetime couples be?

Emotionally, financially, and socially independent. It's okay to blank on your partner's name during intercourse.
2
18%
Mostly independent. Good sex and showing each other off at parties are important, but marriage is really about having someone trustworthy to dump the kids on.
2
18%
Somewhat independent. If you can be in the same room when you poo, that's too close.
4
36%
Somewhat dependent. I mean, why wouldn't you know where one another's socks/panty liners are?
2
18%
Mostly dependent. Like a cowboy who wouldn't know what to do without his steers, essentially "cow dependent."
1
9%
Totally dependent. Couple takes pains to maintain a "sati-friendly" relationship.
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 11

I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Budgerigar » Fri Sep 06, 2013 09:00

Inspired by a recent thoughtful inquiry by TK.
"The iconoclasm need not be loud and messy."--John Williams

"As I live and breathe," he muttered, "I swear I'll never drop another drink. Drink another drop. Whichever."--Derek Robinson

"So much death and no coffee to be had."--Daniel Woodrell
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Toad » Fri Sep 06, 2013 10:43

I spose it depends what you mean by "independent". IMO couples should have some sort of shared goal or goals. Something big or special; something that gives your life meaning, so that even if you get run over by a bus tomorrow, you can say, "well, at least I did something with my life". It doesn't really matter what it is - for a lot of people, the goal is bringing up non-delinquent kids, and that's fine. That's big and special. Some couples have two different goals (one for each partner) but each supports and encourages the other. The whole is more than the sum of its parts.

This is mainly why I don't like the marriage model that involves a woman latching onto some random man (and he could, in reality, be anybody) as someone to be dependent upon: someone who pays the bills, signs his life over to the bank so that the mortgage gets paid, and dutifully trots off to his blue cubicle every morning until the day he dutifully kicks the bucket. In this case, the whole is less than the sum of its parts, because the woman invariably ends up being just a baby-making machine, while the man is just turning the cogs for The Man. Not only do they lose any sense of independent existence, they lose their identity entirely. In that context, even if they genuinely enjoy being together, all you're left with is "It's us against the world; at least we have each other", which is pretty bleak. Unfortunately, this model is still very much the norm across most of the world. Maybe I just spent too much time watching Reginald Perrin.

I'm not suggesting everyone should be out there with a "career". Simply that marriage should make the participants more than they are; otherwise, what's the point?

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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Dragonbones » Fri Sep 06, 2013 11:38

One could prefer different levels of (in)dependence on different dimensions such as emotional, financial, and social, so it's too complex an issue to answer on such a poll. :twocents:
“To cook for the pleasure of it, to devote a portion of our leisure to it, is to declare our independence from the corporations seeking to organize our every waking moment into yet another occasion for consumption." --Michael Pollan
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby sandman » Fri Sep 06, 2013 14:07

"Take my wife. PLEASE! Take my wife!" If you weren't brought up with 60s-style British stand-up comedians you won't get this.
"My wife just went to the West Indies."
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby ChinaCat » Fri Sep 06, 2013 15:06

sandman wrote:"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."


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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Icon » Fri Sep 06, 2013 15:36

sandman wrote:"Take my wife. PLEASE! Take my wife!" If you weren't brought up with 60s-style British stand-up comedians you won't get this.
"My wife just went to the West Indies."
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."


Tiabo. :eek:

EDIT:
and on that note, what is a "sati-friendly" relationship?
"Lo urgente no deja tiempo para lo importante". Mafalda
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Toad » Fri Sep 06, 2013 15:58

Yeah, I thought that sounded a bit worrying too. I'm pretty certain those nasty British colonialists stamped it out.
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Dragonbones » Fri Sep 06, 2013 15:59

Icon, "Jamaica" sounds like a slurred abbreviated form of "did you make her" (did ya make 'er --> jya make 'er --> jamaica?)
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Icon » Fri Sep 06, 2013 16:01

Dragonbones wrote:Icon, "Jamaica" sounds like a slurred abbreviated form of "did you make her" (did ya make 'er --> jya make 'er --> jamaica?)


OK, thanks, I was thinking it could be that. Right track then. :grin:

And now, what is the sati-portion? Hope it is not what I am thinking.
"Lo urgente no deja tiempo para lo importante". Mafalda
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Budgerigar » Fri Sep 06, 2013 16:52

Icon wrote:and on that note, what is a "sati-friendly" relationship?


Sati (sometimes spelled suttee) is an Indian practice of self-immolation in which a widow throws herself on her husband's funeral pyre. Toad is correct that it was outlawed by the British, although it still flares up (sorry) from time to time. You often hear the practice and the ban cited by apologists for the British Empire (not that Toad was doing that). I believe that some earlier Indian rulers also tried to control it at various times.

By "a sati-friendly relationship," I meant a dangerously dependent one.
"The iconoclasm need not be loud and messy."--John Williams

"As I live and breathe," he muttered, "I swear I'll never drop another drink. Drink another drop. Whichever."--Derek Robinson

"So much death and no coffee to be had."--Daniel Woodrell
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby sandman » Fri Sep 06, 2013 16:58

DB, if you have to spell it out, the joke has failed. :lol: But I wasn't making it for the benefit of our... colonial friends (meaning from the wrong side of the Spanish Main).
As for sati-friendly, I thought that was some kind of allusion to spreading spicy peanut sauce on the nether regions of one's significant other. Which is an admirable thought.
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Big Vern » Fri Sep 06, 2013 17:00

sandman wrote:"Take my wife. PLEASE!


I take her everywhere. She keeps finding her way back home.
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Icon » Fri Sep 06, 2013 17:18

Budgerigar wrote:
Icon wrote:and on that note, what is a "sati-friendly" relationship?


Sati (sometimes spelled suttee) is an Indian practice of self-immolation in which a widow throws herself on her husband's funeral pyre. Toad is correct that it was outlawed by the British, although it still flares up (sorry) from time to time. You often hear the practice and the ban cited by apologists for the British Empire (not that Toad was doing that). I believe that some earlier Indian rulers also tried to control it at various times.

By "a sati-friendly relationship," I meant a dangerously dependent one.


Thanks. Sorry I asked. :eek:
"Lo urgente no deja tiempo para lo importante". Mafalda
None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby Budgerigar » Fri Sep 06, 2013 17:31

sandman wrote:"Take my wife. PLEASE! Take my wife!" If you weren't brought up with 60s-style British stand-up comedians you won't get this.
"My wife just went to the West Indies."
"Jamaica?"
"No, she went of her own accord."


It's interesting to hear the association of the "Take my wife--please!" line with 60s-era British stand up comics (the only one those we ever really heard over here was Benny Hill--or was he a little later?) In the States, the line was a commonplace of the "borsht belt" Jewish comedians, and is usually attributed to Henny Youngman (who was actually born in Liverpool).

Oh and we had a mildly off-color version of the "Jamaica?" joke back in High School:

"I went out with that new girl from Kingston."
"Jamaica?"
"I never touched her."

Something like that.
"The iconoclasm need not be loud and messy."--John Williams

"As I live and breathe," he muttered, "I swear I'll never drop another drink. Drink another drop. Whichever."--Derek Robinson

"So much death and no coffee to be had."--Daniel Woodrell
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Re: I Miss My Wife Poll

Postby sandman » Fri Sep 06, 2013 18:16

A lot of the Brit comics on the working men's clubs of that time in the UK basically parrotted Henny Youngman to a large extent. How were WE supposed to know it wasn't original? For us at that time, Yanks were still basically large men in khaki uniforms who gave us candy, gum and nylon stockings. :lol:
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