Free Relationship Advice for the Men

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Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Just Jennifer » Fri Jul 10, 2015 22:33

Don't be a dick.

Be honest, even when you've made mistakes.

Don't cheat.

Blowjobs are sex. Bill Clinton was a lying, cheating idiot.

"You're the one I come home to" isn't good enough.

Violence is never okay.

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

Love the one you're with. Love is a choice. (Okay, I know not everyone agrees with these.)

The best thing you can do for your children is love their mother.

Get those priorities straight. Relationships (marriage, kids, faith, if you've got one) first.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby maoman » Fri Jul 10, 2015 23:13

I remember when I was a child, a family friend, one of my father's peers, left his wife of 10 years for another woman. In our community, it was really a big deal, scandalous, even. He was made out to be shallow, selfish, definitely "the bad guy". 40 years later, this man is still with his second wife. They're parents and grandparents. Time has made their decision respectable.

Years after the divorce, I learned that his first wife had hang-ups in the bedroom stemming from sexual abuse she suffered as a child. She refused to go for counselling, and eventually he just got lonely.

Relationships are incredibly complicated things, and it's not so easy to judge from the outside what is right and what is wrong. None of my parents' peers seem to remember their initial condemnation of him leaving his wife. If asked now, I'm sure everyone would say that he definitely made the right choice.

Things are not always as they seem.
Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Just Jennifer » Sat Jul 11, 2015 00:28

That's a really sweet story, and I know of quite a few people on their second marriages who are very happy today but wish you'd stuck to the topic of "free relationship advice for the men" because now I will be up all night worrying about whether or not my fellow Taiwaneasians think I'm some Psycho Taitai.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby maoman » Sat Jul 11, 2015 00:40

Anyone who knows you knows that you're a sweetheart!
Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Just Jennifer » Sat Jul 11, 2015 00:49

maoman wrote:Anyone who knows you knows that you're a sweetheart!


:heart:

Thank you. That really means a lot to me.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby divea » Sat Jul 11, 2015 04:32

Respect your spouse.

The reason they tell you everything twice is because you don't listen the first time around. :smile:


Don't blame her 'moods' on menstruation. It hasn't helped in the past and it won't in the future.

'You need to relax/take it easy/cool it' are all shit phrases that don't work at all. It just makes you condescending.

NEVER ever criticize or make fun of your woman in public. Banter is another thing.

Don't think you are God's gift to her.

Don't patronize her, 'I taught her to appreciate Ethiopian food and introduced her to the Mongolian music'. :nono:

If she ever throws a tantrum in public, walk away for ever.

She can't call you an asshole, bastard or idiot in public, just like you can't call her a bitch. That's not endearing, just dis-respectful.

Don't keep secrets from your spouse (goes both ways), about gambling, porn, money troubles, alcohol, money lent to relatives etc.

Don't tell her what your Mom thinks of her. Positive or negative. Let Mom do all the positive talking and tolerate no negative shit either way.

If she's fucking around, don't try to make it work. It never does. Women can still accept and forgive cheaters. Men? YOu just can't. And if you do, the woman is going to think 'LOSER' and walk out anyways. :idunno:

If she wants you to be a jealous lover, walk away. The woman will just keep trying to make you jealous.

Be creative in sex. Just asking 'what do you want?' is not enough, give her choices, specific choices.

Jen is right, a blow job is sex, make sure to pleasure your woman and make her come during and after, no matter if it's a hand, blow or ass job.

Don't walk around with your spouse like she is royalty, makes YOU look like an idiot. She is your equal.

Don't talk about what a great dad you are and all the things YOU do for the kids. For each activity you do, she does 10, so shut it. You may be more fun, but she's the real deal.

If you don't trust your girl friend financially, don't marry her.

A lot of you will take umbrage to this - if you can't support her, don't marry her. A woman should have the right to choose to stay at home with the babies, and if you can't offer that choice, wait for a few more years.

Don't make her compete with any of your ex's or your mother and sister.

Clean up. Don't ask her what can I do? Find sth. to do in the house and do it. Everytime. Take on your own chores, don't wait for them to be assigned. Your woman is NOT your mother.

Oh and if you're newly wed - PLAN A HONEYMOON.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby divea » Sat Jul 11, 2015 04:38

maoman wrote:I remember when I was a child, .......

Things are not always as they seem.

How is it relevant to this thread?
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby cranky laowai » Sat Jul 11, 2015 10:44

Just Jennifer wrote:Say what you mean, mean what you say.

Nice try. :wink:

I think most men here have already learned the hard way not to fall for that one.

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Dragonbones » Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:15

Cranky NAILED that one! :roflmao:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Just Jennifer » Sat Jul 11, 2015 12:57

Dragonbones wrote:Cranky NAILED that one! :roflmao:


:roflmao: You got me, cranky!
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby sandman » Sat Jul 11, 2015 17:20

Why for men, specifically? Surely it works the other way too?

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby jimipresley » Sat Jul 11, 2015 17:44

sandman wrote:Why for men, specifically? Surely it works the other way too?


NO, Sandy! Women are precious, innocent snowflakes. Men are horrible, filthy predators. Don't be obtuse. :nono:
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Big Vern » Sat Jul 11, 2015 19:25

sandman wrote:Why for men, specifically? Surely it works the other way too?


Indeed. All this is simply advice about dealing with people. Gender is irrelevant for almost all of it, although I will accept that there is a tendency with some men not to initiate chores. My wife's told me in no uncertain terms not to ask her what chores she wants me to do, but just to do them without asking. Unfortunately, now they aren't getting done (only kidding :smile: ).

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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Just Jennifer » Sat Jul 11, 2015 20:22

Sandman and BV, I agree that gender is irrelevant for most of this. I just started the topic because Blake Carrington started one for the women.

That and I needed to vent a little. Sorry about that.
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Re: Free Relationship Advice for the Men

Postby Big Vern » Sat Jul 11, 2015 20:28

Just Jennifer wrote:Sandman and BV, I agree that gender is irrelevant for most of this. I just started the topic because Blake Carrington started one for the women.

That and I needed to vent a little. Sorry about that.


I'm not in any way knocking the thinking behind either thread. There clearly are differences in the way men and women behave in relationships, and it's really useful for both sexes to be reminded of them. However, the similarities are greater IMO.

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