Taiwanease - Driving Me Insane

01 December, 2006

Driving Me Insane

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Driving Me Insane

Hartley Pool

“Left…LEFT!” I screamed, as sure as I’ve ever been of anything that we were about to be pulped by a Taipei City bus, which had suddenly decided to pull out from the stop without looking where it was going. For an instant it seemed to exude a casual kind of malevolence, about to broadside us without so much as a howdy-doody - then it was somehow in front of us.

And I was in trouble again.

“Don’t shout!” shouted Anita, my Taiwanese wife.
“He was going to crash into us!”
“No he didn’t.”
“No, I know he didn’t, but he nearly did.”
“But he didn’t.”

I couldn’t argue with that, which is almost always how these things end – probably because I’m usually wrong.

Or just too stupid to win.

Anita had been learning to drive for eight weeks, and this was only her second foray onto the roads since passing. Actually, it was only her third foray onto the roads ever, given that her instruction took place in some kind of deserted parking lot. The final test itself was on the road, but given that:

(a) the instructor told her she was going to pass before she started

(b) everyone else there she talked to passed

(c) on making an ill-considered turn in the test, the examiner asked her if she wanted to go back and try again, then seemed to ignore the fact that she had initially fudged it,

I didn’t have too much faith in her ability to avoid getting us both maimed.

We decided to take it easy, and slowed down so we could cruise behind the bus for a while, perhaps even doing a public service picking up any overflow. It reminded me of the first time we’d gone out on the road and found ourselves behind a rubbish truck for twenty minutes (I’m referring to a trash-collecting vehicle, rather than a cheap, or badly made one).

“This is nice,” I smiled, trying to calm things down, “do you remember when we were stuck behind the trash truck.”
“Yes,” she said tensely, eyes fixed straight ahead.
“It’s okay,” I laid a hand on her shoulder, “you’re right – we should just relax and stay behind the bus, take it easy.”
“I’ve been trying to pull out for ten minutes,” she answered through clenched teeth.

Our first encounter with the highway was perhaps the experience that sticks mostly in my trousers, pardon me, I mean my mind. Being Anita’s first ever experience with full-on road driving in Taipei we had made the sensible decision… and decided to drive to Wulai. Now it’s not that far, but it does require a little highway driving. We had, as a precaution filled the car with Anita’s mother – for moral support – and a friend of the family, who was apparently quite a good driver, and kept staring at me. As we approached the on-ramp, everyone tensed, and the mother-in-law gave a rather extravagant belch, which I took to be, perhaps, either a warning or a gesture of good luck. Things went well, and almost magically a space opened up and we sort of staggered into it, in spurts and starts.

“Well done!” I applauded, at which she started to slow down, “what are you doing?”
“Change lanes,” she announced with a degree of concentration.
“You’re slowing down to change lanes?” I asked, my hands scrabbling lucklessly behind me for any sign of a seatbelt.
“Yes,” and her tone brooked no suggestion of impropriety.

Mother-in-law belched again, which this time, I think was definitely fear-related.

“Slowing down to change lanes?” I wasn’t going to let this lie.
“Yes – dangerous,” she replied.
“It certainly is dangerous if you slow down.”
“Shut up.”

I decided to hunker down like you might in a plane crash, but fortunately, other than lots of hooting and honking behind us, she completed the manoeuvre without incident. Later that day, the return journey still dampening the seat of my pants, we returned the car to her brother’s house in Tucheng. He looked very surprised indeed to be getting the car back in one piece, and it struck me that perhaps his offer of the car whenever we needed it had been some kind of tax write-off.

We struggled in to Costco and eventually made it back to base camp, shared some cheese sticks with our generous benefactor, who didn’t appear to find them all that pleasant, and got the bus back to our home in Yonghe. It’s been six weeks now, and he keeps phoning her to ask her when she’s going back to take the car out again. So far I’ve been able to put her off, but my excuses are running out. Help.

Comments

Nia.

Hire someone to pick her up three days a week and let her drive while they sit in the passenger seat for a hour or two.

She needs practice. You need peace. Should I assume it's too late to revisit the question, "Why do you need to be a driver?"

To jump from parking lot to congested streets seems quite daunting and obviously everybody is pretty tense.

Can you borrow the brother's car? Do you have a place to keep it at your home between outings with the new-driver and the hired seat mate?

Is there a way to live in a "suburb" farther out? Just for a few months, let her have the breathing and growing room of real street and real (light) traffic just so she gets comfortable driving.

How about an organized curriculum which you design and train someone else to execute.

Today we will spend one hour changing lanes.
(1) Use side mirror and
(2) rear view mirror and
(3) turn head to see blind spot.
This give you an initial lay of the land.
(4) Then turn on you signal.
DO NOT TURN. DO NOT CHANGE SPEED.
The signal announces to the world you intention.

When changing lanes speed is maintained or increased or slowed DEPENDING ON WHAT IS GOING ON.

If there is anyone in back of you, do not slow down. If there is anyone in front of you, don't speed up.

When there is an opening look to see how much space is available fro your car to ease in. How much space in THAT lane before the advancing car to the rear?

There must be atleast one car length before you move and then you must move quickly BUT you must make sure that the driver in the other lanes SEES you.

Eye contact is best. A light tap on the horn a smile and a wave and gesture asking to enter helps.

Only when the change of lane has been fully executed do you turn off the signal light. Do remember to turn it off. Keeping it on when you are not longer thinking about turning is annoying to other drivers.

See what I mean? Since apparently her instruction to date has been dubious, create lessons and then go out and work on one thing...You know one hour lessons (or even 1/2 hour lessons) and stay with the same lesson until it is mastered, i.e. she can do it without being physically stressed. Now she still might not be up to a conversation, or music or any distractions whatsoever inside of the vehicle. Don't give her conversation, give silence, instruction or hire someone to do that.

If you're not the one to be instruction that's okay. Train a trainer to be with her.

Why should you get killed because she wants to drive? I think your life and peace are worth more than sitting in a car being driven by an unskilled driver--housemate or not!

May 11, 2007 6:45 AM

Trever

I want to say this as nice as possible--get over it. That's the way life is in Taiwan. Driving schools all have a 99% passing rate, or they have the "take it until you pass" option. Bus drivers pull out in front of people. They do that in other countries as well. I bet the first time you drove you also did something "dumb" like slowing down to change lanes. There really is no sense becoming melodramatic over it. Things are how they are. The sooner you adjust, the happier life will be for you. Anyway, that's been my experience.

May 29, 2007 12:20 PM

Tony

Love the story, but Trever is pretty much right. Nobody in Taiwan can drive and they have no interest in learning, so just stay out of their way. Don't get in the car. Of course you'll need to explain as gently as possible why you don't want to ('it's too difficult to park', 'it's quicker to take the train', 'petrol is so expensive') so she doesn't think you're dissing her driving, but this is a matter of life and death.

Exactly why your gf (or anyone else) needs a car in Taiwan is a mystery - you can get pretty much anywhere by MRT, bus, train or taxi, and probably quicker too. I haven't needed to drive in the 6 years I've been here (apart from the occasional trip down the road on the scooter). I don't miss it, and I'm grateful every time I hear an ambulance siren that I don't have a car.

I think the reason people in Taipei drive so badly is that they genuinely have no idea what "danger" is. I see Taiwanese people doing all sorts of stuff that have a very good chance of landing you in hospital. Mostly they get away with it, but they seem utterly surprised ('what did I do wrong?') when, for example, they get mangled while running a red light.

Trying to teach her to drive is a bad idea - that's a sure route to a break-up, even in countries where people know that driving requires a lot of skill and concentration. Anyway, good luck, and if all else fails, Taiwan's emergency medical care is extremely good...

June 28, 2007 2:29 PM

Graham

When you next visit you respected home land with you lass, sign her up for some driver lessons so she can see the real diffrence in driving styles, then she will under stand why you leave arse clench marks on the seat when ever exiting a car in Taiwan.

Driving conditions in Taiwan will not improve untill some one important in the government gets hurt and even then it wont make much diffrence. The cops dont even follow rules of the road so why is any one elase going to bother.

The reason I have always driven in Taiwan is because I know that when I get crashed in to, a car will give me more protection than a bike so I've got a better survivability and I can choose the music and set the AC just right for those hot summer days sitting in Taipei traffic.

If your going to buy a car go with a european brand they are made with propper car materials such as steel and iron unlike some of the regional options that seem to be made with paper and twigs.

When someone does crash in to you the police won't do much in way of repremanding the other party so make sure you claim for as much compensation as you can get out of them it might take a bit of time and you will have to be prepared to take it take it all the way though mediation to court but it's worth it to make the moron suffer.

July 13, 2007 7:10 PM

163��

October 1, 2007 4:08 AM

Matt Bronsil

Wear your helmet in the car.

December 19, 2007 11:05 AM

bob

waZmpW great site man thanks http://peace.com

March 28, 2008 5:29 AM

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March 31, 2008 6:45 PM

David

This is one reason why I'm so afraid to ride with Taiwanese. I just had a crazy experience. I also see a lot of "Taiwanese" driving in America, as my friends which drive are Taiwanese. I almost had my car wrecked by teaching Taiwanese people how to drive in America. I don't see how they ever get their license here or in the states.
May of my friends which want to learn how to drive in the states have never touched a car, let alone sit in the driver's seat. They have the most interesting questions and comments about the components of a car. I cringe to know that Taiwanese people drive in America.
Taiwanese drivers are a hazard to the health and safety of others on the roads.

April 1, 2008 11:30 PM

01 December, 2006

Driving Me Insane

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Driving Me Insane

Hartley Pool

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